Welcome to Serbia’s version of an action drama mixed with absurd comedy! The state has decided to celebrate Vidovdan like never before – with arrested “terrorists”, crossbows, tear gas, and “sound cannons” that, of course, are useless against motor vehicles. Yes, you read that right! Our beloved regime managed to neutralize six “terrible villains” and thus secure a peaceful student gathering at Slavija, inviting everyone to come in large numbers. But wait, there’s more! Police officers have new orders to check everyone’s IDs, so prepare your pockets and backpacks because they might get “sewn up”. All this with advice to bring water, good vibes, and an unbreakable password for your phones.
Now, let’s talk about the military service that is “more needed than ever”! Our president, naturally, foresaw the need and proposed mandatory military service, but it wasn’t adopted immediately. Now, with “ill-mannered terrorist-blockers” on the streets, it’s clear the army is necessary. The plan is for every young man aged 19 to 27 to undergo 70 days of training, where they’ll listen to speeches by Baba Žvala, sing songs honoring the supreme commander, and swear to kill anyone who shows critical thinking towards him. After all that, the best get awards and a one-day trip to “ĆaćiLend” – a paradise for true patriots.
All in all, Serbia has become a stage for a state spectacle combining terrorist threats, police repression, and military indoctrination. If this doesn’t sound like the script for the most bizarre movie of the year, we don’t know what does! So, dear readers, what do you think about these measures? Is this real security or just a show for the masses? Drop a comment, laugh, or get mad – but don’t stay silent!
