Why Adult Children Avoid Their Parents? Therapist Reveals Shocking Habits Destroying Families
Have you ever wondered why your adult children avoid talking to you? You’re not alone! Therapist Jeffrey Bernstein reveals that many parents, despite good intentions, unknowingly make mistakes that push their children away. Instead of closeness, silence, misunderstandings, and even broken communication often take over.
Emotional Pressure That Kills Connection
Bernstein points out that too much emotion, raised voices, accusations, and hurt feelings often build a wall between parents and children. When a parent says, “Don’t you see all I’ve done for you?”, the child doesn’t come closer but withdraws even more. Instead, it’s more helpful to ask, “How can I better understand what’s going on between us?”
Criticism and Moralizing – The Recipe for Distance
Parents often want to guide their children on the right path, but criticism and moralizing only push adult children away. Phrases like, “Do you really think you’ll stay in that job your whole life?” shut down conversation. It’s better to offer support: “If you ever want to talk about your job or options, I’m here for you.”
Protection or Control?
Parents trying to make decisions for their children or disapproving of their choices send the message: “I don’t believe you know what’s best for you.” Instead, genuine interest and respect for their autonomy can help build trust.
How to Turn Things Around?
Bernstein advises parents to reduce emotional reactivity and listen more. This takes courage and willingness to acknowledge one’s own contribution to the problem. But the reward is huge – renewed connection and understanding.
Emotional Neglect in Childhood – The Root of the Problem?
Other experts warn that emotional neglect in childhood leaves deep scars. Children who didn’t receive enough attention and validation often struggle as adults to express emotions and seek help. This can further complicate relationships with parents.
You’re Not Alone, But Change Is Possible!
If you recognize these issues, know it’s not the end of the world. It’s possible to learn how to communicate better, express emotions, and build bridges with your children. It just takes a little courage and honesty.
So, what do you think? Ever “set fire” in a conversation with your kids? Or maybe you’re the one running away? Share your story – maybe together we’ll find the way forward!
