When a day lasts 24 hours but feels like only six, it’s easy to forget the most important person in your life – your partner. Work, traffic, hundreds of notifications pull us away from feeling connected. Most couples barely exchange a sentence during the workday. But happy couples know that closeness doesn’t need hours of free time, just intention and small, meaningful moments.
Psychologist Mark Travers, a relationship expert, reveals five things happy couples do during the week. They don’t spend hours, they invest their hearts.
Sound familiar? The alarm rings three times, one jumps out of bed, the other still sleeps. No breakfast together, maybe just a grumpy hello. But truly connected couples catch those five minutes before the day starts – a hug under the covers, a quiet coffee together, a quick chat about a weird dream. The point isn’t the ritual, it’s the moment. Starting the day together gives the knowledge that we have each other, no matter what awaits.
Most people during the day exchange only logistics with their partner: “When are you picking up the kid?”, “Buy bread”, “Where’s the charger?”. Happy couples send non-logistical messages – a quick “thinking of you”, a funny meme, a comment on the day’s madness. It doesn’t take much, ten seconds during a break is enough. These messages mean “I see you, even when you’re not next to me.”
You come home, your partner is nervous, venting about work stress. Happy couples immediately after work do a short reset – each to themselves. Some go for a walk, some watch a series, some take 15 minutes of silence. Resting the brain before meeting your partner is often better for the relationship than forced quality moments when you’re not physically or mentally present.
It doesn’t have to be an hour-long candlelit dinner. Five minutes a day when you’re not parents, employees, or problem solvers, but just the two of you, is enough. Maybe watching a quiz while shouting answers, a quick card game, or a walk to the store without phones and chores. The key is to agree – no phones, no chores, no kids, just the two of you, every day.
Exceptions exist. These aren’t deep talks or problem discussions, but short emotional check-ins: “How are you, really?”, “Are we okay?”, “Thank you today.” Sometimes just a hug and “Sorry, I was nervous.” Such honest evening sentences prevent frustration from building up and exploding on Saturday night.
Happy relationships don’t depend on the amount of free time but on the quality of small things. During the workweek, we don’t have the luxury of spontaneous trips or long talks under the stars. We have five minutes before work, one message at noon, and an evening “How are you?”. That, when added up, makes the difference.
If this sounds like your life, maybe it’s time to ask yourself – how truly present are you in your relationship? Or are you just passing through someone else’s life? And if you have your own trick for a happy relationship, don’t be shy to share – maybe it’ll change someone’s day (or life).
