You can have the most expensive bed sheets, do five sets at the gym, and even swallow an oyster before a date, but none of that guarantees good sex! Yes, you read that right. Sex isn’t just about tricks or technique; it’s a true art of attention, empathy, and understanding. Men, get ready to hear the ten most common mistakes you make in bed and how to avoid them, according to clinical psychologist, family therapist, and sexologist Vera Kalantar.
Sex is not a sprint, it’s a dance
Forget the idea that sex starts when you take off your socks! Foreplay isn’t an add-on; it’s an essential part of the story. Slow down! Emotional and physical preparation of a woman is key to experiencing orgasm. If you finish and immediately turn to the other side, that’s a mistake. A real lover knows her pleasure is a priority, not a side effect. Invest time and attention in her orgasm – there’s no nobler sign of masculinity.
It’s not a one-man show, it’s an exchange
If you’re focused only on your own pleasure, you’re missing the point of sex – exchange. Don’t make it a one-man cabaret! Involve your partner in the game, be present, and listen to her signals. Instead of asking 15 times, “Do you like it this way?”, learn to read her body. Contact is more important than questions.
Communication is key
Silence and no reaction don’t seem mysterious; they’re confusing. Communicate! Words, moans, touches – all create an atmosphere of closeness. If the porn industry is your only inspiration, the result will be plastic and tasteless. True passion comes from authenticity, not scripted scenes.
Variety is the spice of life
The same move over and over isn’t technique; it’s punishment. A woman’s body loves variety and change. Sex is like jazz – allow improvisation and listen to the rhythm. If you see sex as a fight or a medal, you’re missing the point. Five rounds with breaks won’t mean anything if your partner is bored.
Post-coital contact is a must-have
If you rush to the shower right after sex, you leave your partner alone – emotionally and physically. Post-coital contact – cuddling, talking, touching – strengthens intimacy and makes sex last beyond the last breath.
Experiment with caution
Experimenting in bed is desirable, but one move normalized by porn can have serious consequences. Scientists conducted research on a group of women in heterosexual relationships and warn that it’s important to be careful and empathetic.
Men might be more complicated than women
Many think women are complicated in bed, but maybe men are even more complicated. Mistakes happen, but do you even notice them? Sex isn’t a technical performance; it’s an emotional dance of two people. If you manage to be present, empathetic, and willing to learn, you’re already halfway to becoming the lover diaries are written about.
Bonus: You don’t have to be a superhero
Don’t pretend to be the “iron man” who isn’t bothered by anything. Men who express their feelings appear more reliable and attractive. Vulnerability isn’t weakness; it’s strength.
So, dear men, if you thought sex was just about technique and speed, it’s time to change the record! Invest in attention, communication, and understanding, and we guarantee your partner will be thrilled. And you, ladies, if you recognized yourself in this, feel free to drop a comment – maybe men will read it and learn something new! Or at least we can all laugh together at their mistakes.
And yes, if you thought it’s all about expensive sheets and oysters, you’re wrong – the real magic is in the heart and mind, not the wallet.
