Parenting on the Edge of Chaos: 5 Signs You’re Too Permissive and How to Regain Control
Parenting is no joke, but many of us find ourselves trapped in the snare of being too permissive. Have you ever caught yourself saying, “Please don’t throw that” or “It would be nice if you did your homework” as a suggestion rather than a rule? If yes, it’s time to sound the alarm!
Why is being too permissive a problem? Kids thrive when rules are clear and consistent. When boundaries are flexible and always negotiable, kids start ignoring them—not out of rebellion, but because they’re confused. The result? Your home turns into a chaos arena, and you end up exhausted and frustrated.
5 clear signs you’re too permissive:
- Uncertain demands and rules that change easily.
- Plans change every time your child says “no” or throws a tantrum.
- Chores get skipped, and apologies are rare.
- You let your child’s emotions control decisions.
- You’ve become more of an entertainer than a parent, avoiding conflicts at all costs.
How to regain authority? You don’t have to be as strict as a drill sergeant, but you must be firm and consistent. Instead of vague requests, use clear and calm statements: “Throwing things inside is not allowed, let’s find a safer way to play.” When your child throws a fit, stay calm and say, “I see you’re upset, we can talk when you calm down.”
Consistent consequences are key. If your child doesn’t put away toys, they get a one-day timeout. If they skip homework, screen time is taken away. The important part is that consequences are consistent and fair.
Why do parents become too permissive? Fear of conflict, desire to avoid disappointing the child, or even excessive strictness that led to giving in. But parenting is not a popularity contest—it’s a leadership role.
Emotional burnout and consequences Too much permissiveness can lead to emotional burnout for parents. When boundaries disappear, so does personal space, and mutual respect is damaged. Kids learn responsibility through consistent consequences, not punishments.
Start small Say “no” to one more treat, stick to bedtime, don’t give in when your child wants one more cartoon episode. Slowly but surely, your child will start feeling secure and respect the rules.
Parenting is a marathon, not a sprint. If you’re too permissive, it’s not the end of the world—but it’s time for a change. And if you’re already there, maybe it’s time to share your “parenting battles” in the comments. Who knows, your story might just make someone’s day!
Source: Superžena B92, 29.06.
