Why Do Adult Children Avoid Their Parents? Psychologist Reveals the Truth!
Ever wondered why your adult kids don’t reply to your messages or just send short, surface-level answers? You’re not alone! Many parents feel hurt and confused, but psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein has a different take on the whole thing.
It’s Not That They Don’t Care
Bernstein says reduced communication doesn’t mean kids stopped caring or loving you. Often, it’s a sign they’re protecting themselves. When they make life choices parents don’t agree with, kids pull back to shield themselves from pressure, judgment, or emotional blackmail — even if parents don’t mean to do it.
Parents Often Misread the Situation
Many parents think their kids are punishing them by going silent, but actually, kids are trying to keep their peace. Even when parents want to help, they forget how important it is for kids to learn from their own mistakes. Bernstein points out that parents often send messages full of anxiety, not real connection.
Messages That Suffocate, Not Connect
Messages like “Haven’t heard from you in a while, are you okay?” or “Did I do something wrong?” can feel like emotional pressure. If a child feels unseen, unheard, or emotionally neglected, they’re more likely to pull away even more.
How to Communicate Without Pressure?
Bernstein advises that instead of deep questions or trying to start serious talks, parents should send messages with gentle curiosity. For example, “I was thinking about you today” or “Wondering how you’re doing” can boost connection, even if the kid doesn’t reply right away.
Building Trust Is Key
Instead of forcing conversations, build trust and calm connection. That’s the only way to get communication back on track.
Conclusion
So next time your adult child doesn’t answer, remember — it might not be about you, but their need to protect themselves. And maybe it’s time to change how you communicate. Got a “brilliant” message that only pushed your kids further away? Share it in the comments so we can all laugh or think together!
